Alex McGill

Endlessly

starved myself again just to see if I could
felt the softness at the bottom of my belly

contracting, becoming hard
is this what it’s like to have the upper hand?

you appear like soft shadows
shapes in the corner of my eye

I arch my back to meet you
my palms touch the cool wall

on what used to be ‘your side’
I hate myself for buying in

to monogamous love
monotonous sadness, I feel boring

I’m bored of counting the days
realizing it’s winter soon

my body feels skinny, empty
yesterday I counted my ribs

how much time has to pass
for details to become memories

how long is forever?
I know, I’m hard to love.